content warning: disordered eating
IS BACK, BITCHES.
Once you allow yourself to feel full, you allow yourself to feel hungry. And since I was used to never wanting to eat, I suddenly felt like I was hungry ALL THE TIME. Like, up to three times a day. Jesus. I felt like a small mammal that spends 95% of its time foraging the forest floor for food. Like, I gotta eat again? I thought I just did this!
Besides the inconvenience, eating more has been great. I have so much more energy now! Almost as if my body is converting things in my digestive system into some sort of fuel. It would have been cool if not eating prompted my body to spontaneously develop a gene mutation allowing me to photosynthesize instead of eat, but it looks like evolution doesn't happen that quickly.
I'm being flippant because it's the only way I can acknowledge this problem publicly. And acknowledging it publicly has been immensely helpful for me. Writing my previous blog post forced me to accept that things were not going well and there would be no posthuman transcendence swooping out of the sky to save me from my crushing dependence on nutrients. I'm grateful for all the encouragement and support folks have offered and I am VERY grateful that no one freaked out. Basically everyone who I told in person was entirely unsurprised ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I'm not saying that after a month everything's better and we all lived happily ever after, but I'm really happy with how things are going.